My experience of Spring 2021, is like no other. Perhaps because of sheltering-in, after a year living with a never ceasing pandemic while experiencing the crazed roller coaster ride of U.S. politics, a rising national awareness of racial and economic inequalities and injustices, grief and loss, police violence, wild fires like no other season … much more that I could mention … this Spring holds a certain type of hope.
Each day I walk in this greening of Spring, and I am in awe. There are no words that distinctly and perfectly capture the feelings that rise up as the scenes of nature before me shift from day to day. I see something new each morning; the shades of green so varied; the cedar trees appearing as if I have never walked these paths before; the light reflecting in a way that leaves me amazed by its beauty. I have taken this greening for granted in seasons past. Now I hold a deep reverence and trust in my heart related to the Spring season. The new shoots will rise, the flowers will bloom, the bees will find pollen, the birds will raise their young, the sun will warm the air and feed the growing of green, the growing of nature, the growing of each of us.
Having taken for granted, now being surprised by spring, trust has risen to walk with me; to support me. As my sense of awe leaves me speechless, my heart grows in trust just as Spring brightens around me. The perfectness of growth; the perfection of death in the forest as I pass the remains of trees downed in the winter’s storms; their decay feeding the insects, plants and thus animals around them.
Much taken for granted. Now, so much to be revealed when I trust in the cycles of life. So much that brings joy my way when I am courageous enough to take the steps offered before me, even when I have no idea where my feet will take me. This is the nature of trust gifted to me in Spring.
“Could we soften? Could we surrender? Say what we find edgy out loud? Could we have safe enough spaces? To keep exploring, to heal, to grow? To learn about our true purpose, our beauty, our gifts, our power?
If we had trust in one another, could we share more?
If we had trust in one another, could we know we are always held?
That our voice matters too?
Could our bodies be softer?
Could our tensions be eased?
Could we see the solutions we need in our personal and collective life?
And share them freely without fear?
If we had complete trust in one another, how would we walk in the world?
”
It is not always easy to look over the edge of the cliff and to leap, not knowing for certain where I will land. Yet supported by courage, I have a realized faith in this process. A deep, almost weighty trusting that each step will provide something to learn from; something that will support my heart’s opening, even if painful for a time. A trust that from the fog, clarity and deeper knowing will arise. A trust that I am never alone, always connected to everyone and everything, including that which is greater than me even if unnamed.
Light after the darkness of the past year; emergence from the seasonal winter, leaves me with a deep sense of trust in life. This Spring season continues to reinforce my belief in life itself. I am reminded that the seasons will continue to move through their cycles, the moon will wax and wane, the hours will become days, darkness will turn to light.
As I hike in Powell Butte most every morning, I cannot ignore the impact of Spring, the power of nature’s greening and turning of the seasons. Though I cannot predict what each season will be like, I do trust that nature brings to all of its beings, what they need to survive, grow and to finish their cycle of life, returning to the earth, to the mystery from whence all has come.
Spring 2021, Powell Butte, Portland OR photo by beth johnson
“The Butte so spring green in all its shades and hues
dense foliage from earth to heavens
breeze just enough to free small seed on their journey
to faraway places to root
Earth hardening after winter’s rains
footsteps sounding the drum
pace changing with the climb of the trail
breath breathing in the greening of the season
life’s breath
Greeted by Spring ”