I facilitate a support group for people who are care partners for loved ones who have dementia or brain disease. The non-profit organization that sponsors this group is named HOPE dementia support (www.hopedementiasupport.org or see my dementia support page at www.spiritual-companion4u.com/dementia-support/).
Dementia is often considered a hope-less disease. The participants in my group are clearly aware that there is no cure and only little promise that the disease their loved one is experiencing, can be slowed down or reversed in some way. Yet, the group members experience hope as they gather each week to share their joys and sorrows, their frustrations and their hopes in this moment in time together.
I find myself in awe each week as I witness group dynamics with all of its wonder and beauty. Hope comes from many sources as the members share with and support each other through this most difficult of times. Blessed to be witness to this seeming contagious sense of hope, I have also begun to observe that I sometimes take hope for granted. I expect hope to always be there for me. I am hopeful that this Mystery with a capitol M, will always work out for the highest and best good. This may seem a bit Pollyannaish to you and at times even does to me.
Having worked in the medical field as a chaplain, I have often heard said that no one should be given “false hope.” The accompanied concern relates to someone being told for example, that they may experience a “cure” even if the odds are almost zero. It seems that some doctors are clear that they cannot promise an exact outcome when one is receiving any type of medical treatment. Treatment will not result in the same outcome for everyone, even if the physician has some sense that the chances are high or even proven as to usually have a positive result.
So the question I pose to myself is, how do I define hope – another of those spiritual concepts that I find to be numinous? I am able to recognize when I feel hopeful. Yet, how would I describe my experience to someone who is feeling hopeless? As I write this reflection I am reminded of the hope I felt as I began to write – hope that I would gain more clarity by putting my thoughts down on paper.
Well, it seems that I have asked the Universe to help me by taking action and beginning to write this post. As is so often the case, I am gifted with something in the process - something that helps the light bulb in my mind to turn on. In this particular case, I came across a short writing by Jolie Rundy titled Practicing Hope, (Unity.org publication, A World of Hope, Advent 2018). Her first two lines struck me between my eyes – or I might say, in my Third Eye.
“It seems to me that there is no such thing as ‘false hope.’
I know why people say, ‘I don’t want to get your hopes up.’ They want to protect you from experiencing disappointments and failure.”
She went on to say,
“I don’t see a problem with hope.”
Well, I don’t either, and this is because to me hope is a verb. Hope is something that I do:
“Hope is one of those practices that can alter everything. Hope is all good. Hope is one of those declarations that alters energy. Energy is everything. I said that backwards: Everything is Energy. Hope for the best is affirmative and good and creative.”
No wonder I like hope. It affirms the good in this world. It is an action – energy in motion - and it is creative! As a result I can easily feel hopeful even in the midst of sorrow and tragedy. I’m not saying that I don’t feel sad in these types of circumstances. I do, and can be tearful and almost despondent. Yet, deep down inside, I am aware that I still have hope that something good will come out of the tragic event. As I practice hope, more often than not, the energy within and all around me, changes – and for the better. Always! And as Jolie continues to speak for me, here is the remainder of her words:
“In the presence of hope, anything and everything is a real possibility. Practicing hope is a holy union with God’s unlimited goodness. So I say: I hope I make a difference. I hope you have peace today and beauty and love and joy and everything your heart desires. I hope you know how beautiful you are, how magical and powerful and important you are, to everything and everyone. I hope you remember to enjoy breathing, walking, sharing, loving, eating, listening, caring, praying, communing, hugging, kissing, being you. I hope you enjoy being you. There is no one like you in all the world. You are unique! I hope you know you are the light, and I hope you know that you make all the difference in the world. I hope you know you are loved.”
Hope is no longer a word I cannot define. Hope is my practice! It is an integral part of my being! And, I am hoping that you have a wonderful Holiday Season and Happy New Year!